Sleepless.

Lying on my bed at 20 minutes past midnight I finally feel to come out of the closet and face the reality. The truth that we all run away from, every single time. But this time I'm going to put it all down once and for all. Yes, no job, no love and to top it all, no friends to bitch about. This is a perfect description of a person who might feel depressed, low, shallow and possibly seem to portray her lonely life crisis but not this time. I would rather dust off the idea within the same breath. The whole situation today is a consequence of my own conscious efforts over the course of time. So who and why should I be running away from the truth and cursing the world, the para terrestrial powers (Science grads can go crazy too, they ought to not be logical always - Monotony is definitely not enticing). I start believing in myself again and the positive realisation that there is something good in store for me, something better than the situation I'm in today. I motivate myself by completely giving in to the notion that nothing can go worse than the pool of shit around me. Sometimes such a kind of feeling can actually make things better, at least in your head. And this feeling often elevates you from the under-confident thoughts. Often believed to be true that humans often need a shoulder to cry on and when the shoulder goes missing for sometime, we try to find the same within ourselves or better just learn to hold back the tears. Even this time, so be it. 

Endless chase of a fear

I finally decided to take a leap from the evergreen poetic form of expression to plain and simple illustration and this shall be my first piece of the kind. As the piece of work shall help overcome my fear of expression in merely one form, I shall dedicate this to fear. 

Over the past one week, a lot of my friends and acquaintances have brought out the age factor that we all are facing around. Mid 20's crisis, Nearing 30's fear, you name it in whichever way and the thought is sprawling within. So what is it that changing the mind and body so fast? Is it hormones (I doubt, that generally occurs in the teens), is it marriage (you marry whenever you are ready so no age bracket these days except the occasional family pressure), or is it the instability that's building up because you feel others are settled? All these are nothing but a pool of fears that keep increasing every day. Fear of commitment, fear of failure in love and career, fear of loneliness, the list never sees an end. Some fears build by experiences, others just don't have a base. How do we know which ones are real and which ones are fictional? We don't and we need not too. After all, all fears aren't harmful. Fears let the inner self not be exposed to strangers. They help you contain yourself within. This is the fear of not trusting someone so easily which in turn often helps in self-growth, self-realisation or introspection, as concisely put. 
In addition, there seems to be a new fear developing in the Gen D (Gen D refers to the Digital Generation, brought up in the digital world of internet and gadgets). This fear is called the fear of society. The fear that your peer or someone you often look up to on that social networking websites is often outperforming you and leading a more successful life, or at least as virtually put. In other words, in search of doing something different and worthy of applause by the larger society, we fear that what we are doing at present falls short of any concrete appreciation at all, even from self. Such fears are disastrous not only from a self-growth point of view, even from the mere survival and sustenance angle. We tend to undermine our present work-life and the relationships we have thrived on for so long. We tend to not think of the present in search of a future that is definitely not certain for us, maybe not meant to happen. The world that lies beyond our reach is enticing from far because of its far-sightedness. But that might just be a mirage. It will keep travelling further as we advance towards it. 
And yes, to these fears, I say, some fears have no end.