Shattered within

Ever since my first day I entered the block..

It only been a choking feeling within, trying to burn out.

It's not only the environment around,

But also the people that surround...

Leaving home I never felt that it would be so difficult

To just keep compromising day in and out...
Whether in room or class, the heart's never content,
Voids preoccupy whatever I try to absorb..

Failure's become a habit of mine,
Without a feeling before lying to anyone now...
Still going on and on endlessly,
On some path which has no end again...

I started with just one peg,
Unknown, I would become an addict one day...
Now I fag without being guilty at all..
Not bothered about the world which does cares for me a lot..

And all this started with that inferiority complex in class,
Which grew enough to kill all instincts within, like a shattered glass.
Goals and aspirations are nowhere to be thought about..
For my future too vague a thing to even ponder on.......

Losing on my anger

I said a lot, you interpreted a bit more
I had no clue, you would take it to heart so soon
Ego overshadows every respect I owed you.
And now you're making me feel guilty
Even for what I was not responsible;
Blank out, crying aloud in both darkness and light..
Wherever you go I shall always be beside..
Patiently waiting for you to stretch that hand again...
And forgive me before I part away.

You were there!!!

Sorry if I could not recognise your voice….

I apologise for being so strange,

For hurting whenever I was wrong..

Sorry for going away without looking back.

You always knew that I was not on the right path,

Yet you kept silent to let me fall and rise myself…

Sympathy, apathy are not what I want from you….

They were just the bullshits I blabbered very often…

I never felt that I had left broken relations behind…

Kept crushing each one as I paced on..

Now even if I think its easy to forget and le go.

Deep inside, it all still hurts you even now…

Tagging the ones I should....

It's hard to hide,

What rarely I never find.

Clueless of the next step I take,

Eventually end up trapped in the pit.

Optimism and brightness are illusionary shelters...

For practically, I win logically often more than emotionally......

Pains and sufferings won't ever end to cry about....

The struggle's between heart and brain around.

Scratching from the head everytime,

I believe would not lead me there,

Where I ought to be, seldom trying to be.

These lines and instincts shall always hold me back,

For however I motivate myself to rise...

You and others influence me more than,

The ones who should, dreadfully they never could..

So I hit back again today..

Hoping to be with you, in  your eyes...

Glittered to make you proud..

That owing me was not a small deed

To reckon on, but glorious to remember about.....

The EF inside

Never had such intentions any day,
to let your feelings show in this way....
Friendship, love, hatred all started to matter,
more than rationalities suddenly...
And whether good or bad, my life became better,
In span of just a blink, evidently.....

You might still feel it to be something,
not more than mere a greed...
But it was indeed more than contentment to me...
And I can still apologize for you might be hurt.
As many a times I crossed, without saying a word.....

It's not just to believe me after witnessing my deeds.
Because sooner or later,
even I need to realize that "Actions speak louder than words"...
And it might seem way easy to cover up for spoken words.
But not for actions once done............

Yes, I'm an emotional fool in all respects.
For nothing seems to interest anyone more...
Than a bit of true love in this world, to grow....
And loads of logic to screw your head every then and now.....